Let me start by admitting I love the Harry Potter books and movies. My children were the perfect age to grow up with them and it was a meaningful thing for us to share. So if you aren’t a fan, I pre-apologize for the reference, but I think the message is REALLY IMPORTANT.
Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.
– Hermonie Granger in Harry Potter and The Sorcerers Stone
Hermonie is one of the heroes in HP. This quote references her approach to facing the ultimate villain, Voldemort. To beat the ultimate villain you have to: See it. Name it. Overcome it.
My villain right now is cancer named Chordoma, a really mean villain if left unattended. To overcome my villain I am locked into a table by a mask 5 days a week. (see below). It’s so tight it leaves a pattern on my face for 15 mins. Then a large sci-fi machine rotates around me, aims and delivers precise proton radiation beams to my spine and clivus bone. It rotates into 5 positions, the last one pictured below. It’s all scary and it feels like the villain, but really it’s helping me deal with the Chordoma.
During the first 6 or so treatments my eyes were shut tight and I was deep breathing trying to not panic. Then it occurred to me, if I could see it, name it, understand what is happening, perhaps my fear and anxiety would diminish. I summoned my Hermonie level courage….
This week I opened my eyes as I rotated through radiation sessions 9 and 10. While I am NOT and never will be comfortable with the fact that I have chordoma (it’s very surreal) I am filled with less anxiety during the hour or so each day I am addressing my villain. I am focusing on what beating chordoma means to my life. It means it will be good and long life – part of my vision!
Fear is such a powerful emotion. It is one of the primary reasons we don’t create the life we want. This is where vision can be a powerful ally. Know what you want. Name it. Focus on it. Then, live in your creative tension of shitty circumstances (Chordoma) and your vision, and point all your energy towards that vision.
Live the vision, deal with the villains.
We are all facing unnamed villains. Hell, 2020 itself has been pretty villainous.
What are you afraid of that you aren’t naming? What is your Voldemort? Whatever it is, we’ll get through it together.
Thank you so much for the thoughtful visions on fear. Needless to say David and I are facing similar fears. You’ve given us lots to think about. Love you lots!