Vision and Teenage Sons
I had dinner tonight with my oldest son Dylan. It doesn’t happen very often that it’s just the two of us. We typically share meals with his younger brother and my SO, or eat during the passing activities of life. So I took advantage of the opportunity, suggested we leave the house and dine out. If you have children you might agree that removing them from the stimulus of the house can mean the possibility of more of their attention. So off to dinner we go…
As we settled into our seats, looking at each other, without the distractions of others, son vs. mom, I was curious to see where the evening would go. Some of it was your typical mother / son conversation: school, girls, jobs, cars etc. Unexpectedly, he asked me about BigLifeVision and my blog. I was excited he wanted to know about it and as I was talking to him about vision, about personal mastery, it dawned on me that this can be as much for him as it is for me and for you. As a 10th grader starting to set his sights on college and careers, the work in Personal Mastery and vision can help him guide decisions that will impact the rest of his life. Oh, Dylan…
Dylan wants to be a filmmaker, a director to be specific. He is active in his school’s film program, attends a filmmaking camp each summer, has equipment, and dabbles in the creative process. He also LOVES history. So as a teenager he is encouraged by his dad and me to explore both, not to limit his ideas and aspirations, but build from them and see what happens.
Then it occurred to me that as young people, most of us were encouraged to live in vision. Our teachers, parents and mentors might ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Isn’t that a fun question, loaded with possibility? At what point do we stop getting asked that question? At what point do we stop taking that question seriously? Why? Is there a magic time that we should have it figured out?
Some might argue that when you enter the workforce, have children, have bills and a mortgage, then you are grown up. But I’ve seen very grown up children facing much larger challenges who still have the ability to dream big. Maybe responsibility does not equate to being a grown up. Maybe it’s not the grown up part that limits our imagination. Maybe, we just stop asking. Why?
We see Boomers re-creating themselves as they exit the workforce. They are asking themselves and others, “How can I still contribute?” We can all learn from their approach to “graduation.” Vision is a constant practice. Personal Mastery is a consistent workout. We change and evolve. Each stage in life is different; each stage in life brings different realities, different relationships, and different needs and as a result provides new opportunities, new creativity and new chances for growth. All of this to say: it’s never too late for vision. It’s never too late to create and re-create that child-like wonder, to ask yourself “what do I want to be when I grow up” and then do what you can to guide your own path forward.
For me, my next steps include, spending some more time with Dylan to help him create his first vision and, hopefully, instill in him the practice of continuing to ask and answer the question “What do I want to be when I grow up?” and knowing for all of us that we should continue to ask the question, continue to explore the right answers and live to honor those answers today and everyday. That is #BigLifeVision for me, what does it mean for you?
Neta – Thank you for sharing. Hopefully you’ll join a group on the groups page and share some of your journey in the collective. Powerful and beautiful things can come from understanding your role is choice…
It’s that a gift Karen, to love them for who they are and who they are becoming. Thank you for sharing. I have always believed that honesty is the best policy.
I have 3 teenagers and a pre-teen. They are awesome people. I have been very open with them about my struggles in life and encourage honesty from them. We have awesome relationships and laugh often. I love them because of who they are, not just because we are related.
Lovely blog! I have recently come to realize that my destiny is in my own hands. It was an exciting awakening, full of possibilities and opportunities to continue growing.
Thank you Perry. Happy you enjoyed the post. There is so much energy in “living what you are created / designed to do”, we just have to focus to find it then it’s go, go, go…
Excellent article KC. Your thoughts begs the question I encourage everyone to ask themselves; “Who am I…REALLY!?!?” and “What am I created/designed to do?” Apply the answer to those questions and you’re beginning to live your BLV!
drink heavily?
Karen – thank you for joining the conversation. Do you have any teenager strategies to share? Anyone else??
A nice meal at a nice restaurant. Eye contact. No judgement. Real conversations. No time restrictions. No hidden agenda.
Karen – I do find taking them out of the comforts of home wakens them up in the conversation and interaction…
Definite food for thought… You have always inspired me to think about things that I’m usually too “busy” to think about. Thank you (I think).
Also, very smart to take the teenager out to dinner–I have discovered good food makes them more receptive, as well.
Susan – so happy that you enjoyed the post. Here’s to a week full of dreaming, good luck!
Love the questions. They prompted me to ponder a few more. What brings me the most joy? What would I be doing if money/time/others’ expectations didn’t matter? What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail? What’s on my bucket list? I’m going to spend more time reflecting and dreaming this week…and a little less on the to-do list. Thanks for that.