My sons – people I prioritize
How do you do it all? I’ve been asked this question a couple times in the last week or so. I admit, I get a lot done. Perhaps you’ve heard the saying “give a busy person something you need done” sometimes that is me. But the honest answer to that question is I don’t.
Some nights this keeps me up or more accurately wakes me up at 3:30 am with my mind making lists of things I need to do. Sometimes it causes me so much stress that I feel like my shoulders are around my ears. Sometimes I escape into a great glass of wine and the company of good people who don’t care about the list of stuff I haven’t gotten done. But at the end of the day I do the stuff I can, I move the stuff I didn’t get done and I try to stay balanced. And so should you.
After all, who creates the list of things that you are/aren’t getting done? Most of the time, you do. Unless you are in a career where lives hang in the balance of you getting stuff done (if you are – then consider this a post about the other things you do), this list will wait and you will survive.
But what if the list gets me closer to my vision (you might ask)? That’s ok too. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and you won’t achieve your full vision in a day either. Personal Mastery, vision-centered living, requires time and patience. For me, when I’m not sleeping, when I am stressed, I lose sight of all the other great stuff that is a part of my vision and in my life already. I stop seeing the forest because I am just focusing on the one frustrating tree. And I’m doing it to myself.
If you need scientific evidence, there are volumes of medical and mental health research that relate stress and imbalance to poor health and illness. I had to learn, we all have to practice taking the pressure off, because we put it there in the first place.
What I do try to do is focus my energy on the things that are important to me. Important relationships,
also a priority my SO
meaningful work, exercise, hobbies, and family – I build my schedule around that. With whatever time is left I build the other stuff around. That’s how I prioritize (not always well, but I prioritize). And it’s important to consider what time frame works for you. For some, a daily prioritization is what they need. For others, weekly, monthly even yearly. But you need to determine what works for you.
At the end of the day, no one will ever get it all done. So breathe, do your best, and focus on the things that are most important to you. After all, it’s about life’s marathon, not today’s sprint.
I wish I had given myself the freedom to not “do it all” when my kids were little. I missed out on so many important moments of joy because I “had” to do something for work, or church, or any of the other “them”s in my life at the time. My family is in a transition period where time with friends trumps time with mommy. It came so soon, and I realize how fleeting time is. I learned, and keep learning, that if I don’t love what I am doing, the cost of doing it is losing time with my kids. When I love what I’m doing, and when my actions enhance my life, doing it all isn’t a bad thing.
“Get tatoo” is now on Angie’s To-Do list. I’ve gotten better with this over the years, partially because I have less energy? But, what has also helped are 2 things. One, simple boundaries. I refuse to get up before 4AM to do any work (I had to draw that line in the sand a few years back when I started setting my alarm for 3:30). And, I refuse to work on Saturday, both professional work and pretty much anything else I feel like categorizing as “work.” The second strategy– I rigerously schedule and track some simple behaviors: running, eating healthy food, meditating, going to the gym, spending time with kids on homework. I have an excel spreadsheet that I’ve been tracking all this now for just over 3 years. It sounds neurotic and probably strange for a INFP. But somehow it works for me. I’m less stressed by the to-do list than I was a few years ago. Reserving that stress for other stuff now.
As always, perfect timing. Thinking of getting breathe tattooed on my wrist so I can keep it central to my mind when I think about my day and my vision. Hearing how others do it is a great reminder that we all struggle with the do it all mindset. I blame it lately on the leaning in craze. On the other side…Having it all and doing it all is core to vision though…I think you have to have those struggle moments to force yourself to make those tough decisions around how to live your one precious life.
Angie – thank you for your thoughts. I agree for some “doing it all” is part of their vision. But why do we have to do it all today? If we are too busy doing it all today and the result is not enjoying today then what’s the point? Focus, prioritize and BREATHE and mostly enjoy each day because life if precious.