A couple of weeks ago, my SO and I threw a party, and the invitation read “It’s Never Too Late for Happily Ever After”… we were celebrating. Both of us have gone through large life changes in the last 3 years, and the party was a celebration. Not of an anniversary, not of a decision, just of progress … life in progress … and we wanted to share it with people important to our lives.
We both have been married previously. Our “starter” marriages of 17 and 25 years had strengths and were fruitful. Both of us were married to good people. For me, my ex is a wonderful father, has been a good friend and we both have learned a lot about ourselves in the time we were together. I appreciate my life that was. I honor it as it’s a part of me today, who I am and who I will become. As much as I appreciated that life, I knew I wasn’t happy. I was circling around what I wanted from my life, terrified of walking up to it, naming it and living it. I had accepted easy, risk-adverse and stable and it was killing my spirit. Ironic, I know.
A series of experiences encouraged me to step back far enough out of my life and examine it for the whole of it and not just pieces. I started to ask myself BigLife questions and really listen to the answers. After years of internal silence my inner voice starting talking VERY LOUDLY. As a result, I made some difficult big life decisions. I won’t lie, it was hard and I questioned myself many times. But I had a vision, BigLifeVision, and I had amazing people in my life helping me honor that vision (thank you, amazing people). At the end of each day I knew my reality and I knew what I was working towards and that was worthy of a celebration.
I think celebration is an important element in life. It’s a chance to honor the past and look to the future. Celebration is also personal and different for each of us. It might be a porch filled with people, good food and wine or it might be a moment alone in a favorite spot, or both.
Celebration is your moment to honor your work, to honor your vision, and to honor yourself. It is also a powerful fuel for what’s next.
For us, the Happily Ever After party was a celebration honoring our separate journeys past and our shared vision forward, a life happily together. For that reality I am grateful. I am also grateful that you are here, reading this blog and joining this collective. Thank you. Let’s celebrate together.
Take a moment to pause and celebrate, whatever that means to you, your reality and your vision. Share below what you are celebrating. I also invite you to start a group dialog about celebrating vision and celebrating life in your group …
What are you celebrating?
Many years ago, I started a gratitude journal that obligated me to find five things a day that I was grateful for. At first it was hard to find them, but later when I did, they were the small things — that nothing went south, a cup of good coffee, a call from a friend. It turned me from a home grown pessimist to an optimist by choice.
I celebrate time with my kids. They know that ever holiday, my gift list is simply time with them. We steal away for 1:1 time which may be lunch, a coffee shop, the mall, or a hike…whatever our mood. And we enjoy our time together and truly are interested in each other. Definitely something to celebrate with 3 teens and a preteen. 🙂
Thank you Gail for joining the conversation. Anders is great at getting us all thinking. I have always believed that you can’t live with regret. Each experience brings something to your life. Appreciating what you can learn and how it shapes who you are today is foundation to being a happy person. I like being a happy person.
Kimberly – I really appreciate how generously you described your 1st husband. A lovely tribute. Ander’s post going me thinking – what is important to me? To be alive to the opportunities /impacts in every contact.
What really matters in life depends on your own choises and perception. To acknowledge small things: a smile from your spouse, a call from your grandkid, a lunch with a friend. To remind yourself that the world is much more safe, generous and rewarding than media tries to tell us.
Anders I love this sentiment. We are more safe and generous than the media give us credit – and some times than we give ourselves credit. What does it mean to show and honor the emotional side. It’s not weakness, which the media would have have us believe, it’s strength of character and sense of self. Thank you!!
Sue – Thank you! You are so right about the challenging times. Sometimes I ask myself “what is the universe trying to teach me” (it’s usually patience – BTW) and remember to appreciate the growth. But some situations are harder than others.
I read somewhere that , “If the only prayer you ever say is ‘Thank You,’ that’s enough.” I’m not as good at it as I want to be, but I do try. The challenging times are when we can learn the most, so looking back from the other side of a difficult time is a chance to see the positive results that almost always come. Thanks for the reminder.
I read somewhere (I think it’s a modern poet) that there are only two forms of prayer — “Thank you” and “Help me”. Like you, both help me align and focus in my far from perfected place.
Thank you Yumna. Why is gratitude so hard to remember to do for ourselves? We were taught as children to say thank you to others, we just have to learn to apply that personally…
‘celebrating’ for me often just looks more like breathing a sigh of relief that things didn’t go south! good reminder to practice some gratitude on a regular basis. there is definitely plenty to be grateful for, and to celebrate. thanks for the reminder.