me and the hamster wheel
As of late, ok, it happens a lot lately and has happened on and off my adult life, I find my mind spinning on what I call the hamster wheel. For me, it’s a cycle of unproductive thought that creates emotion that I have or need to move past. Once I get on that damn wheel I manage to drudge all kinds of history into this one woman drama. What results is negative emotion: frustration, anger, sadness and all that creates more time on the wheel to create more emotion. It has been a hard year; you’ve read my posts, you know. The fact that I am not writing as much is as much an example of the year I am having as is the messages I am sharing. Don’t get me wrong, good things happen in my life every single day. I am blessed and thankful. But it’s a hard year of acute sadness for the loss of my sister, of the longing I feel to be closer to my mom and my nieces and family, of BIG change in our lives, of struggling to feel stable and productive and part of a work community again. I could go on, but I won’t, that’s the point. Get off the damn wheel Kimberly! Why bring this up, because these are the very things that get in the way of living vision. Not just living vision, of seeing vision. These are the very things that keep me, you, us firmly rooted in reality and the past. At times, this is what I struggle with the most, my own hamster wheel. But lately I remind myself, remember Kimberly, the thing you focus on is the thing that will happen. So when I focus on things in the past, nothing will happen except…spinning.
What am I doing about it? It’s not one thing, it is many things. Each day I get up, and approach my life with an eye on my vision, my future. The sadness will pass, everything will pass. I am trying to root myself in
Vision necklace
things I like to do. I spend precious moments with the people I love. I wear my awesome BigLifeVision necklace (thank you still Angie) often. Basically, I live. I live and I aim to live better tomorrow.
Life is about incremental gains. Vision is reached stepping closer each day. In a day you can get a mile closer or a simple step, it’s all progress. When I focus forward, move forward, make progress, I can go to sleep knowing that I am not SPINNING. I welcome your thoughts, your perspective, your approaches to getting off the hamster wheel. Frankly I could use them. How are you doing? What are you doing? How is your BigLifeVision?
My yoga instructor always begins a class with some quote that seems designed just for me to hear. Last week, she said, “What you prepare for, you beget”. Truer words were never said.
I trust my “north star” will guide me – my beliefs and my truths. I step off that wheel as soon as I realize I’m on it again. I celebrate – what is now, the past, the future… I connect to things that recharge my soul so I can go forward, always forward. And I as go forward, I trust those that have departed before me are guiding and cheering me on….always…
Thank you Paul. Thank you for reading, thank you for sharing and thank you for the sage wisdom.