“A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities.” – William Arthur Ward`
Strengths, possibilities, faith and spirit are the hallmarks of my dear friends. These friendships have created the community where I can take risks and reach for change. For me this community of friends spans across decades, across time zones (shout out to Sweden and Arizona) and across all stages of Kimberly. All of the amazing people that I have the honor to call friend have walked miles with me, and learned and grown with me. Together we have traversed canyons (actual canyons – Grand Canyon ladies), run marathons physical and metaphorical, dealt with the death of parents, contemplated changes in careers and made them. We have survived the loss of relationships and the uncertainly of love. We have celebrated life and love and births and birthdays. At times in my life things haven’t seemed real until I got to share it with my friends, my community.
dear ones
Friends are a big part of Personal Mastery for me. Remember, Personal Mastery is about self-awareness and seeing your reality objectively.I have discovered part of who I am through these relationships. They call me on my BS, encourage me when I am down, love me when I feel unloved and see me for who I am. They are safe harbor and a bright and shiny mirror. I always walk away from time with friends knowing a little more about myself and feeling a little more confident about where I am going. Together, we may spend time dissecting our challenges or being honest with each other, but we just as easily tuck the day’s challenges into the corner to be ignored and go get a pedicure and cocktails.
When we do spend some time on each other and hold that bright and shiny mirror up, it’s a wonderful calibration. A reminder of who I am and where I come from and what I am trying to create. They are great counsel and challenge. It’s from these relationships that I have had the courage and encouragement to start BigLifeVision.
Which leads me to say welcome to the newest friends in my life, the collective at BLV. You honor me with your interest. And I hope I can provide you with something in return. You have joined BLV; you are part of this community, welcome.
It’s easy to take time with friends for granted and not carve out time or dedicate time and energy to spend with them. I do this. I bet we all do at times. But I have learned that when I don’t invest the time, take the time and honor time with friends I find myself lonely in the community I have created. My friends are apart of my vision, being apart of a vibrant community is important to me and to truly live through personal mastery I have to create the reality of time with friends.
Have you shared your vision with your friends? Do you let them in? Does your community know your vision and help you live to realize it? Why? Why not? I invite you to share some of your experiences in the comments section about how your friends and community help you.
If you are interested in expanding your community further, take a moment today and join a BLV Group. Make these forums your own community – ask questions, provide thoughts, share stories.
long time friends, lovely ladies
For me, today, I am feeling thankful for the love of friends. Thankful I created time in my life to spend with them. I am wrapping up a wonderful weekend in Charleston with two of my favorite people and closest friends. I feel better than when I arrived and I am sad to leave.
To all my friends that read this and support me, thank you and love you!
p.s. I have added some photos to the BigLife Gallery of some of the wonderful friends that make the world a better place. If you want to add to the gallery email me…
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While I have several close friends (introvert here!), several years ago I discovered the power of online community and friendship. I joined a now defunct community and learned to write through the support and critique of others and even now am Facebook friends with several of them. They write me when they need cancer support or help for job seeking children; we celebrate online birthdays and successes — the friendship, although not consummated in person, is alive. I have that hope for this community.
Great point Pamela. Today relationships can grow both virtually and in person. I hope you find something here for you and share with others like minded.
Years ago – I was crying in a bathroom stall – over life and love….a girl I barely knew helped me calm myself, process my thoughts, talk it out, and end the ugly cry I was so deep into.
From that day forward me and this girl, Jamie have been family. She is visiting us for the weekend – I watch her wear motherhood like a custom designed bikini, we laugh till we tinkle at old and new stories, with one certain look, we know what the other is thinking, and with just a few words we can move each other to honesty and a healthy dose of “come on now.”
As I type this, I’m wondering….huh- where is she… Kids seem quiet…..I peeked into the room and she is out – two kids snuggled beside her, snoring. I look at the glass of wine I had ready for her and think……life is grand. Oh how things change so wonderfully and beautifully. I’ve watched her grow and become a stellar woman, mom, friend and professional. Knowing she is on my life’s Board of Directors, I couldn’t be happier.
Friendships like this one are what life is about – I love developing friendships with a variety of people….different people….who bring different things to my life. I too love the moments when you instantly think, Oh yeah- we’re gonna be great friends – and the moments when you realize- oh what we have her is a fabulous friendship!
Thanks for the timely blog – it is a great way to start a holiday weekend with my bestie!
Fish – what a wonderful story and thank you for sharing. The places you can find friendship are limitless when you are open to what they can bring into your life. I also love this idea of a “life’s Board of Directors” – might have to borrow that one. Enjoy your weekend and time with your dear friend.
I can’t take credit for the life/personal board of directors – Marcus Buckingham took us through it in a presentation at ASTD. Celia recreated it for the graduation ceremony we hosted for managers.
Anders you hit upon something that I am always amazed by, that moment when you meet someone that you know that you will be friends. I think you assessment of they why is a good one. Whatever the reasons, I am thankful to call you and so many other wonderful people friends. It certainly enriches my life.
Well written Kimberly. It is interesting to reflect upon what it is that make a person into a friend. Looking around, every relation in my sphere of friends has started with a blink. A sudden feeling of a positive stroke within me. I think this blink often is something within that other person, that I recognized in myself – could be a strength (thoughts on “we are alike”, “I can trust you like I trust myself”) or a perceived weakness (thoughts on “you have something to teach me”, “I admire you”). After the blink comes the deepening process where you invest time and where you understand if the feeling of friendship is mutual. When there is mutuality, recognition and admiration – trust will enhance, and a true and long lasting friendship grows. No matter distances in geography, age, culture or gender.
Thank you Yumna!!! xo
Kimberly, great post on friendship. I agree , my close friends have helped me get through some very difficult & uncertain times, for which I will always be grateful. As importantly, they are also comfortable (too comfortable?!) calling me on my BS and ‘encouraging’ me to take action when I’m resisting. I suspect I wouldn’t have been as willing to step out of my comfort zone & reap rewards from that, if not for the gentle, and sometimes not-so-gentle pushing & mirror holding from my friends, so yeah – shout out to you all, in case you’re reading this. 🙂