A few months ago, when the acceptances were all in, it was time for him to make a choice. A choice that would shape his life. He was hesitant, because he knew the place he wanted to be was expensive. So I asked him to sit with the choices and think about what it would feel like to be at each one. Then a day later, I sat with him and asked him, “If you chose to not go to American University (in Washington, DC), how will you feel?” He quickly answered, “I would feel like I gypped from myself.” He smiled at me, relaxed and made his choice….
Today, he leaves with all the hopes and dreams of a young man off to college. He leaves, also, with all the nervousness and fear of a young man entering adulthood and great change. He is emotional and I am strong (on the outside) reminding him that he made this choice, that he knows this is the right place for him. I am strong, because he needs my strength.
On the inside, I am a nervous, sad wreck. But on the outside I need to look into his eyes, give him that pep-talk he needs, kiss him, hug him hard and hope.
Hope that I’ve taught him how amazing he is so he has the confidence to survive the challenges AND handle the great success with humility and grace.
Hope that I’ve given him enough experience and knowledge to guide him towards smart decisions and to know it’s OK to make mistakes.
Hope that he knows how proud of him I am. But he needs to believe in himself above all others.
Hope that he never lets fear guide his life and embraces life and adventure fully.
Hope that he knows he can always ask for help and I will be there.
Dylan and me at AU orientation in DC
Hope that he charges into the world and shows it how extraordinary I know he is.
It’s time for Dylan to go and create his own BigLifeVision, whatever that means to him. I hope he’ll remember where he came from and that I’ll always be home and a place he can find comfort.
Dylan is a living, walking, talking part of my BigLifeVision. And I admit, I struggle with holding on tight and letting him go at the same time. But I know that it’s his time. And I HOPE I’ve done right for him so that he’ll thrive in this life. I hope that he learns life lessons gracefully and without too much pain. I hope all his dreams come true, and he knows when they do. I hope.
So he goes and mostly I’ll really, really miss him.
Well written post. This is what life is about, and you will soon replace the nervousness and feeling of loss with joy, happiness and pride for what your son is doing. It is a time in your life to return focus back to yourself again. I believe you will love that. ❤